I stopped posting over 4 years ago. The world was still just months into the Covid-19 pandemic; we saw the Eldest in hospital for the first time in 3 months and I barely recognised her. She looked drained, malnourished and very, very physically unwell. That’s why I stopped writing. Having to fight to get her seen by a general hospital now seems ridiculous but anyone who has been through the mental health ‘system’ in the UK, particularly when an inpatient, will know how challenging (an understatement) it can be to be taken seriously. “When she needs to be taken out in a wheelchair, that’s when we’ll take her to the general hospital” was actually said by her consultant at the time; it still makes my blood boil. Anyway, after some fighting (another understatement) against an archaic system she was finally admitted to the general hospital to be re-fed at a rate of 200 calories over 24 hours for several days, due to being so badly malnourished; that is how unwell she’d become whilst in the ‘care’ of an NHS psychiatric hospital. She spent over a month in the general hospital where the care was extraordinary (in a good way) and despite being so physically unwell, her mental health saw remarkable improvement – perhaps it had something to do with the fact that we – me, Father of the Tribe, the Boy, GD and the Littlest – were able to see her frequently and could take her (in a wheelchair, with a feeding tube) to sit in the hospital garden and coffee shop. Not rocket science really is it? In any case, it’s a long complex, at times utterly nightmarish tale of the messy state of psychiatric ‘care’ in the UK; when she’s written her story, perhaps I will write our family’s story. There’s still a long way to go; recovery is not a straight path and it can be quite pot-holed at times. Just because someone looks ok doesn’t mean that everything is going swimmingly well. And it can be exhausting for everyone involved. How it has affected the rest of the Tribe long term, I have no idea, what I do know is that I am immensely proud of how resilient they have been and are. Even in some of the trickiest, darkest of moments there has always been love, hope and rather wonderfully, laughter.

On the positive (and there are so, so many good things to be positive about), the Eldest has started her second year of Bio-Medicine and did a TedX talk at Bath University about her experiences, the Boy has finished his second year and just embarked on a placement in the City and in between studies can be found on stage usually performing Shakespeare, GD is also beginning her second year at university on the long road to becoming a veterinary surgeon and the Littlest is relishing being ‘the only child’ during those (brief!) moments when her older siblings are away. Somehow, Father of the Tribe and I have muddled our way through and slowly we are returning to a more ‘normal’ life. And we still have six cats whose home we share; and they are wonderfully distracting and constantly entertaining.

The Covid-19 lockdown years seem so long ago now; so much has happened – within our family and in the wider world. I feel ready to post again and I’m going to go back in time to write about the long distance walks that we began when restrictions were slightly eased during those Covid-19 years. The Littlest was definitely ‘little-er’ and we were definitely at the limits for her covering 16 miles or the occasional 19 miles in a day! They were fabulous to do walking across stunning countryside in generally clement weather with some interesting history too. And most importantly, they are free to do. Living in such a rapidly changing, angry world, there is something truly wonderful about the simple act of being in the great outdoors and simply walking. As the philosopher, Frédéric Gros describes, “Serenity comes from simply following the path. And then, while walking, serenity comes because all the hassles and dramas, all the things that gouge empty furrows in our lives and our bodies, become as if suspended … Serenity is the immense sweetness of no longer expecting anything, just walking, just moving on.” So that is where my first posts will take you. And to those friends and acquaintances who have supported and encouraged me in my writing I am eternally grateful; please don’t ever stop.